Last night my mom called me in the middle of night, I rushed to her but I was of no help, she was shocked, maybe because of some weird dream. Once she realized it was only a dream she had a little water and then calmly settled in her sleep, dad was there just watching her sadly. In past three years he’s aged like a decade. He used to be a strong man full of life and courage, but sadly not anymore. He retired last year from his job in that government office. He used to go out a lot and mingle with people his age, but somehow he’s stopped doing that, like he doesn’t derive any pleasure out of it. He never says anything and I can’t read minds but I know somewhere deep down inside he’s sad, very sad, but he has to pull up that strong face. What else can he do? He must hold his nerves, at least for my mom’s sake, she’ll be shattered if she realize how sad he is, so he still smiles but cracks no jokes, he still hold the newspaper but hardly reads anything, maybe thinking all the what ifs in his head?
Ahh let me introduce myself, I’m… but how does it matter? My name won’t change anything, will it? But I’ve to tell about myself, it is not fair to tell you about my parents’ sadness without introducing the reason behind it. I’m one of the thousands born every day, but to my parents I’m special, though I beg to differ, I’m just mediocre. One of the many IT professionals out there. But for my family I’m special… the smart one, one who reads all the time, or this is just what they think. It’s not that I’m boring or dull I’ve many friends but I’ve lost them all slowly. Things change, time change and so does the priorities of people. I remember clearly the day of my engagement… makes me smile, I had struggled so much to fit in that size 38. Sigh!! Vanity…
I don’t know where she is, but I hope she is happy, somewhere with someone. I haven’t tried to track her; I fear how I’m going to take it. Even if she’s happy or sad, in both cases it’ll make me more depressed, after all we are not together and for me it is not easy to let go… I had friends, but I think they too are busy with their own lives; no one has ever come to my doorsteps in the last three years. Secretly I had this hope that they will come and check how we are doing after that accident. But no one ever visited us, some simply don’t care and some find it awkward to make any communication regarding me so they simply moved on. Something deep inside me tells me they have forgotten me, the memories have faded or maybe just left behind because it is unsettling and uncomfortable. Sometimes we ignore the sight of plight and grief because it makes us sad. And of course when you have so many troubles of your own why would you worry about someone left behind. Right?
It’s already 10 in morning, my brother is usually up by this time but today he’s not here yet. Mom has got no breakfast ready. Strange! But Maybe she’s still pondering over her dream from last night and Dad? As I said he’s on the ground floor with his thick glasses and newspaper. And see here he is, my brother… He used to be my best friend but like everything else we too have stopped talking, mainly it is me, because I can’t tell him that I’m still not letting go and I’m still sad over what happened that night and I know it was my fault because of what I’ve caused you this grief…
What is he doing there? Dad is also there now, mum is crying silently, and they are just huddled up. What is that they are looking at in the newspaper??? Oh like last year, someone has written about me. I think it’s… again what it has to do with the name? But I suspect it’s her
In memory of…
The Best Son, The Best brother and the Best friend
For three years life has been the same, exactly same for everyone, nothing changed apart from those three people I call family.
Tomorrow I’ll complete three years in this very realm between the living and something, watching everything helplessly… Tomorrow I’ll be dead, for three years,
for three years nothing but settling Dust!!